In the first week of July, I had just gone through the first of two cataract surgeries and was resting at home with a patch over my right eye when I received the phone call telling me I had breast cancer.

The mammogram and ultrasound I had gone through the week before had shown something irregular. It was so small the radiologist ordered extra images to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was. We scheduled the biopsy right away for the day before my first eye surgery.

This diagnosis was like a frightening bolt out of the blue. There is no cancer anywhere in my family line and so I never thought that I would ever have it. Suddenly I did — and had no idea what to expect.

At that time I was in the process of finishing up the very last details of the manuscript for Lies and Deception, my first novel of three that are already mostly written. I was right on the verge of finally publishing.

Now all my plans came to a screeching halt. I had no idea what the future held. If I wouldn’t be able to release all three, then I didn’t want to even release the first one because the story isn’t done until the third book.

Was all my hard work on three books over the years about to come to nothing? That was actually my greatest fear, even moreso than what was going to happen to me physically with cancer.

As it turned out, the prognosis was excellent. It was a tiny slow-growing tumor (11mm) and we caught it early. I had a lumpectomy done on 8/15. When they removed the tumor there was no cancer found in the tissue surrounding it, so they got it all and I would need no further surgery.

However, they did find that a very small amount of cancer had spread to 2 of the 3 lymph nodes they also removed. That put me in Stage 2 cancer. After some additional tests, it was determined that 3 weeks of radiation therapy would be sufficient treatment — and I would not need chemotherapy, for which I am most grateful!

So all in all, although it has been stressful, my cancer journey so far has not been nearly as bad as it could have been. I feel like I had “a little bit of cancer.” I don’t mean to make light of it — cancer is very serious — but honestly, it could have been so much worse and I’m doing very well now. (And my breast surgeon even encouraged me to keep writing!)

But if there is anything I’ve learned from all this, it’s that I am not Superwoman. God tests our faith, but no matter what we must go through, He is always good. He does this to remind us that He is God and we are not — and to show us, once again, how desperately we need Him.

As I recovered from the cancer surgery (which meant wearing a bra and wrapping my chest tightly with layers of ace bandages 24/7 for over a month!), life became busier than ever. Not only was I meeting new doctors and going through various tests, suddenly it seemed like each of my regular doctors wanted me to have some kind of procedure as well. Plus I had to go back to the eye doctor twice when I developed “floaters” in my left eye that are annoying and apparently not going away.

My calendar for late August and all of September became packed with appointments. October has filled up with radiation treatments every day M-F for 3 weeks.

On top of all that, there were various little details of daily life causing frustrations and concerns. So much to keep track of and deal with. Life piled on life.

The final straw came at my regular cleaning when my dentist decided it was time to do a filling in a back molar that we had been “keeping an eye on” for some time because it had a “pocket” that kept filling with food debris. He was understandably concerned that we should take care of this now because there are certain cancer treatments that could affect my jaw if I should have them.

But I was ANGRY. Really? We have to do this NOW? When I have so much else going on in my life?!

The filling was done on 9/11 (so fitting — a day that will live on in infamy!). I think he used the biggest baddest drill he had. I ended up in excruciating pain even before the 3 huge shots of Novocaine wore off. The entire left side of my face was swollen for over a week and I had to take antibiotics. It’s only just recently that the tooth has stopped being so sensitive that I couldn’t even brush it. I’ve never had such a horrible experience with dental work in my life (and I’ve had a lot of it!).

I’m not proud to admit this, but all that pain and frustration and the stress of trying to finish a book pushed me right over the edge and I genuinely hit bottom. It was too much to deal with. I couldn’t even look at my novel for over a week. I’d had a lot to cope with in the previous two months — eye surgeries, biopsy, cancer diagnosis, breast surgery, and now all this pain from an infected tooth. Nope, definitely not Superwoman.

At that moment I felt like I was living in the Book of Job chapters 1 and 2.

My books are about spiritual warfare and I was deep into a battle at that point. If the enemy wanted to derail my writing, he was certainly doing a very good job. Like Job, I vented at God.

“I don’t care about finishing the books! This is just too much! I’m just done with it all! Let the enemy have the victory! I don’t care!!!”

I must say, God is so merciful and so kind.

Like the calm and patient Father that He is, He wasn’t threatened at all by my railing and just let me have my little temper tantrum. He understood what I was feeling — I truly believe He feels all our pain and even cries right along with us. At that moment He treated my heart with such love and tenderness.

But He also knew I needed to learn perseverance. And of course He wasn’t about to let me quit.

This thought, in these exact words, came ever so quietly into my mind:

“You know, working on the books right now might just be the therapy you need to get through all this.”

That stopped me in my tracks. Then this thought followed:

“After all this time, do you REALLY want the enemy to win?”

No! Absolutely NOT!

And He was right, of course. I started working on the final pieces of the book with determination and it really was like therapy. Joy and excitement began to come back. I was actually going to finish something I’d started 33 years ago!

Cancer or not, painful tooth notwithstanding, I would not let my enemy steal that joy again.

There is an amazing reward in finishing what God calls us to do. Jesus knows this better than anyone. But until I actually completed a project of this magnitude, I didn’t fully know just how faithful God is to carry me to the end. It was only by His grace and might that the enemy did not get the victory. I’m so grateful that He is my strength and my song, my very present help in time of need.

Lies and Deception, Book One of The Rose In The Fire, was officially published on October 16, 2024, when it was released on Amazon as both ebook and paperback. It’s a beautiful book. Writing it has been an amazing journey. I hope you will read it.

And if you are overdue for a mammogram or other medical test of any kind, please schedule one today!